Shah Rukh Khan’s ‘Pathan’ sizzles, not the movie so much

Yeh jo hai Pathan, meri jaan (completely meri jaan) has come in with huge responsibility on its shoulders, that of rescuing cinema from OTT, and its content slaying the Goliath, and continuing to do so despite the big Circus on the post pandemic big screens.

And Pathan, meri jaan (completely meri jaan) also has the other more immediate need, to reinvent repackage and represent a superstar in a manner that reignites his youth serum.

Does it do both? Or any of it?

Not totally, sadly, regrettably! Despite all the woodling-doodling of curves and abs, the ripples got limited to Shah Rukh Khan’s myriad muscles.

The heartbeats went missing for all the wrong reasons and the pace got scattered simply because the stress on slickness was so singular that viability and realism took a tumble somewhere in the mountains of Afghanistan or the frozen waters of Russia or the delicate casas of Spain, not to mention a totally unidentifiable location in India in its underground intel station, which the real Intelligence community may envy.

Well, that’s Pathan for you in a nutshell. Land, air and water chases, a deadly bio weapon, a treacherous ex-agent and a never-say-die present one — locked in a cat and mouse game with an ISI agent thrown in for spice — ISI with a human face and compassion!! Yes mostly much is as unbelievable as a good intentioned ISI.

YRF is in top gear where production and special effects are concerned — in fact so up to the mark that the poor story gets relegated.

 

And yet that poor story with no prowess in the first case, somehow relegates the star power of not one but two Khans, besides the Padukone magic in her shorter than short bikinis and gerua vastra that had the publicity chamber steaming up with the huffs and puffs, much in tune with her chest and girdle salsa.

You could say, Pathan meets Dhoom which meets Race which meets Ek Thha Tiger and then gets into a Red Chillies kind of VFX studio brilliance to bring out a hybrid that gives you enough time to compare, contrast and also pick on your popcorn and cola.

What I would have liked from the film? Some or any chemistry between Padukone and King Khan. Some or any storyline that could tug at you. Some more SRK charm that could hark back the good old days of “Raj, naam to suna hi hoga.”

Here SRK, despite the analogies to kkkk Karen or the signature steps of Pathan meri jaan, despite a shirtless body sizzler, despite the SRK meets Johnny Depp act and despite the two songs on which the film was hyped, there is a lot more you may desire.

Saying all this really breaks my heart because — really, what could my SRK do wrong, ever? He didn’t really but there was strangely not enough of him and his mannerisms. No, I am not talking of his hamming. I am talking of his onscreen charm.

Despite all the facial hair and the unkempt look, he has power and potential to sweep you off your feet, but here he falls one strand, one ripple and one groovy look short of his usual charisma.

His hair, his rippler of a chest, his buns and his beaded-bearded get-up is all good for the eyes, not for the soul though.

After all, if this gym God avatar is still a cut below John Ab-raham, then it does not work for me. The muscled villainy of Abraham is quite becoming here and SRK is a smaller rippler. After all, Abraham has somewhat patented the abs race in Bollywood hasn’t he?

The best part of the movie? The small talk between Sallu (yes Tiger comes visiting for a bit) and SRK about what alternatives does the film industry have — except them — was hilarious. Really, does Bollywood have any bench strength?

So, Pathan, meri jaan ( he is indeed meri jaan) could have and should have been more engaging, more paced and more happening.

P.S I continue to love SRK!